New brief: Karan Johar win award for best lyrics

Producer Karan Johar won the best lyrics award for the song "Radha" from the movie Student of the year release in 2012. The award was sponsored by women's rights activists and was provided for two lines in the song :
"Chhede hai humka daiyaan, bairi kanhaiya
And everybody blames it on Radha"

Translated,
"(Lord) Krishna troubles me (Radha),
And everbody blames it on Radha"

The organizations said that these two lines perfectly capture the current trend where the victim of sexual abuse is blamed for the attack and is said to have brought it upon herself. They also hoped this would make people less ignorant and be more sensitive to the plight of women in the country.

Kohli launches pepper spray

Virat Kohli today launched a new line of pepper sprays. The new spray named "Kohli" was launched in the presence of cricketing and movie stars.

Asked about the inspiration behind launching a pepper spray, Kohli said "Women in India consider me HOT, and I mean uber hot like this pic here.  And I decided to use that hotness to make a product for women. Also chillies are hot. I put 2 and 2 together, and we came up with this idea. This product will attract the ladies. I have already attracted many ladies using my mobile phone!"

Kohli was refering to the "hugely popular" advertisement for a mobile phone company that he endorses where he is shown attempting to attract the ladies by using his phone. Because the ad failed to meet its goal, Kohli had to resort to other means to achieve his objective.

India wins UN award for 'Most impressive posturing'

India won the International Award "Most Impressive Posturing" at the UN today. The Indian entry consisted of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, External Afrairs Minister Salman Khurshid, and Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde.

A UN spokesperson said "The Indian government has had the most impressive political posturing after the recent killings of Indian soldiers by Pakistani soldiers. The Indian government has condemned the attacks and warned Pakistan but has made no change in its foreign policy towards the neighbour. Countries like Israel & the US have no chance in this competition because they don't posture but retaliate immediately if such a thing would happen to them. The international community is impressed by India."

India's initial entry consisted of leaders of political parties which were part of the ruling UPA who repeatedly threatened to stop supporting the central government. Because of the confidentiality clause the names of the initial entries could not be revealed. India decided to change its entry to the competition and was able to get the changes in minutes before the submission deadline.

Digvijaya Singh retires from politics

Senior Congress leader Digvijaya Singh has announced his retirement from active politics. In a press conference, Abhishek Manu Singhvi said that the Congress high command had received a letter from Mr Singh tendering his resignation from the party and retiring from politics. He also said that Mr Singh is also undergoing counselling after being highly depressed & disappointed.

For a long time Mr Singh was the top dog in the 'foot in the mouth' race, but in the aftermath of the Delhi rape case, everyone who is anyone is making silly, stupid, and controversial statements, thus pushing him off his pedestal. The change in stature happened too quickly for Mr Singh to handle, which resulted in his current health condition. Mr Singh, acknowledged that he has been beaten at his own game and needs to make way for a new generation of 'foot-in-mouth'-ers.

Silly typo or mathematical magic

A silly typo on the NDTV article - chargesheeting 6 of the 5 men arrested - did make for a funny opening line in a news article about a topic that has caught the attention of the nation. The error has been corrected though.