Thursday, February 07, 2013

Religious decrees leave people bewildered

The latest religious decree issued by religious organizations have said that wearing clothes is blasphemous, leaving people across the country completely bewildered. This 'sans logic' announcement resulted in confusion and outrage. The average person on the street said "I don't know where this is written in the scriptures. I don't want to be a blasphemer, but think about all the designer brands! Won't they suffer losses? Poor things!"

"Less  fashionable" people said "We don't have any fur covering us, so I am not sure how we'll bear heat and cold. Are leaves allowed?"

 Following widespread outrage, the decree was taken back and a new one saying 'speech is blasphemy and everyone must maintain a strict silence' was issued.

At the same time, another group has decreed that it is blasphemous to stay silent implying that people must constantly talk, failing which they will incur the wrath of God, which will be carried out by his appointed representatives on Earth.

The contradicting diktats have left bewildered because they are unable to understand if they should speak, or stay silent because either action would result in eternal damnation and punishment of the most medieval kind.