Acute water shortage in Bangalore; even sewers run dry!

Bangalore woke up to its most acute water shortage problem in recent times, when the citizens discovered that even the sewers have dried up. Bangalore has multiple open air sewage canals through parts of the city, with roads being named Naala road (Naala means canal).

With an extremely poor monsoon in the previous year, most lakes had dried up. What was surprising however was that the only perennial water body in Bangalore - the sewer lines - had also dried up. The citizens and the Bangalore municipal corporation (BBMP) are at a loss on how to handle the situation. The BBMP said "We have water treatment plants in the city. Those used to satisfy a small portion of the city's water needs. Now even that is lost. We are not sure how to handle the situation; for now an ad hoc committee has been constituted".

Citizens are eagerly awaiting the BBMP's next steps.

Population growth to slow down thanks to Chidambaram's appeal

Leading Ayurvedic pharmaceutical company, Baidyanath reported a slump in the sales of their products. The slump was observed following finance minister P. Chidambaram's request to people to 'control their lust for gold'. Heeding to this advice, the general public have reduced buying Baidyanath's Vita-Ex GOLD, the male performance enhancer - controlling their lust and their lust for gold.

P Chidambaram had made the appeal in an attempt to reduce imports and improve India's fiscal deficit - gold is India's second biggest import after petroleum. The general public have been given messages about the country's increasing population and the strains it places on its resources. The brain connected the messages and resulted in a "slight" misunderstanding.

Social analysts believe that this is a good sign and India's population growth will begin to show a slight decline in about 9 months time; whether the slowdown of the growth will sustain has to be seen. P Chidambaram was pleasantly surprised by the news and had decided not to issue a clarification because he feels that the benefit of slowing population growth will be much greater than reduced gold imports.

P.S. Thanks to Deccan Herald's poor placement choice for the inspiration behind this post.