Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Job opening

Applications are now invited, in India, for the post of next spiritual 'guru'. This position is very challenging because it is equivalent to that of a CEO of a large, financially successful corporate organization. There is exactly one opening and competition is high.

The key roles and requirements of the job are listed below:
  1. The role requires you to be the public face of a large establishment. You need to be charismatic, a good public speaker, and be able to carry yourself well in the presence of VIPs.
  2. Ability to amass large amounts of real estate both in India and abroad.
  3. A decent understanding of science, Chemistry in particular, to be able to synthesize chemicals in liquid/powder form. These chemicals must resemble substances that have a religious symbolism, for example, holy ash (vibuthi).
  4. Ability to exploit science to appeal to faith.
  5. Sleight of hand. Further training in sleight of hand will be provided based on the selected candidates current abilities.
  6. Ability to create mass hysteria for no apparent reason. This ties into requirement 1, of being charismatic.
  7. Ability to keep secrets - very important.
Perks: All your expenses - including medical expenses - will be taken care of using other people's money. The disadvantage is that you will have to be celibate (or atleast appear so to the public).

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